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People who are the targets of domestic violence may try:
- act out verbally or physically against an abuser. That can include yelling, pushing or hitting during conflicts.
- An abuser might use those actions to manipulate you, claiming they're proof that you're the abusive one.
- An abuser also might downplay or explain away their own actions, causing you to doubt your experiences of abuse. This is called gaslighting.
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An abusive pattern may include the following:
- An abuser threatens violence.
- An abuser harms a partner. The harm may be emotional, sexual or physical.
- An abuser apologizes and promises to change. Gifts or favors may be part of the apology.
- Tension builds in the relationship, and the cycle repeats itself.
- Over time, the violence may get worse and happen more often.
- Details
You might be experiencing domestic violence if your partner:
- Calls you names, insults you or puts you down.
- Often acts jealous or possessive.
- Tries to control how you spend money or your access to money.
- Tracks where you go, what you do online or who you talk to on the phone.
- Prevents you from going to work or school.
- Stops you from seeing family members or friends.